Definitely Limericks

I wrote these for the Omnificent English Dictionary in English Form, a magnificent, ambitious, and slightly insane attempt to write a limerick for every word in the English language, one letter group at a time. You can see my additions and revisions there, but I like to keep them here as well; the menu below leads to permanent pages for each letter group. You can also see some co-written pieces, an area especially aimed at OEDILFers, and a page of limerick biographies of famous artists. One of these limericks, and a video of me reading it, featured in an AP article about the OEDILF at the end of 2017, and briefly on the Washington Post and New York Times sites. Two featured in The RSPB Anthology of Wildlife Poetry, edited by Celia Warren (A&C Black, 2011).

Some red or green grapes in a bunch
Make a tasty addition to lunch.
If you let them ferment,
They can help you get bent—
Drinking grapes will take off, I’ve a hunch.

My slavering maw is agape
At its sweet, oval, purple-skinned shape.
What a beautiful morsel!
No possible force’ll
Prevent me from peeling a grape.

Metrosexual bible GQ
Is compulsory reading if you
Want a monthly, slick fashion
Magazine with a passion—
A gentleman knows what to do.

I says to my local GP,
“Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a tree!”
Says the doc, “I’ll be brief—
Time to turn a new leaf.”
Then he fashions a table from me.

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