Definitely Limericks

I wrote these for the Omnificent English Dictionary in English Form, a magnificent, ambitious, and slightly insane attempt to write a limerick for every word in the English language, one letter group at a time. You can see my additions and revisions there, but I like to keep them here as well; the menu below leads to permanent pages for each letter group. You can also see some co-written pieces, an area especially aimed at OEDILFers, and a page of limerick biographies of famous artists. One of these limericks, and a video of me reading it, featured in an AP article about the OEDILF at the end of 2017, and briefly on the Washington Post and New York Times sites. Two featured in The RSPB Anthology of Wildlife Poetry, edited by Celia Warren (A&C Black, 2011).

My Great-Aunt Glacinda grew faint
At the glimpse of a door with gloss paint.
“My dear Matt, it’s too shiny!”
Oh mate, she’s so whiny:
The Trump Tower lobby it ain’t.

In this dictionary entry of mine,
I have gloss meaning “lustre or shine”.
In the margins, a gloss
Will help those at a loss—
You thought “phony appearance”? That’s fine.

The sense of gloss as shiny surface soon led to figurative senses of superficiality and falseness. A gloss is also a word inserted in the margins or between lines to explain a more difficult word, or the explanation given for a word in a dictionary or glossary. This note is a gloss gloss.

Have a look at this word that I’ve gotten.
The British now reckon it’s rotten,
But Aussies and Yanks
Are still fond of it, thanks.
We’ve still got gotten’s back, not forgotten.

It’s a golden age. Everything’s good.
Our society works as it should.
Life is peaceful and rich.
It’s one son-of-a-bitch
Of a dream: wish it had been, or could.

The name Godzone’s Australian for home:
God’s own country of reddish-brown loam,
Blue-green trees, kangaroos,
And magnificent views.
Heaven knows why an Aussie would roam.

Over 30% of Australia’s 23.4 million people declared themselves non-religious at the 2016 census, making Godzone one of the least religious countries in the developed world. Almost 90% of its population live in urban areas, and an estimated one million Australians live overseas.

When chancing the waters of Venice,
Avoid gondoliers such as Denis.
He’s managed to fondle a
Few in his gondola:
His fancy canal boat’s a menace.

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