Definitely Limericks: Do

The Doctor replaces his faces
On a semi-occasional basis.
As a Time Lord, he tries
To prevent the demise
Of the Universe (where Time and Space is).

He declared on his lengthy CV,
“I am doing my third PhD.
Merely one’s not enough
Of that doctoral stuff,
And two doctorates? No! I want three.”

Does a dodo have doeskin? Oh, no.
No, he doesn’t. That skin’s from a doe.
No, a dodo has feathers,
Not smooth, supple leathers—
Or did when he lived, long ago.

A cetacean researcher once said,
“There’s a bottle-nosed whale up ahead.
Take a look at that dœgling—
His blowhole is gurgling.
Why can’t he use tissues instead?”

When I tread in some dog dirt, the mess
That results is disgusting; unless
I can wipe all the muck
Off my shoe, the cry “yuck!”
Only rhymes with my own, I confess.

The terms dog do, poo, poop, crap and turds
Are a bunch of alternative words
For the stuff that emerges
From hounds, when their urge is
To foul up our streets. Cf. birds.

Though dog shit emerges from hounds,
People use the word also for sounds
That emerge from a mouth;
When discussions go south
Or get fraught are the usual grounds.

The dollar’s a currency unit.
Ascetics and hermits impugn it,
But others embrace it.
We love it, let’s face it.
Let roses and daisies festoon it!

Given all that the name represents
(More enticing than shillings and pence—
Far less baggage, you see),
Many countries agree:
Calling currencies dollars makes sense.

Fully 36 countries use 22 different kinds of dollars, from the familiar US, Canadian, Australian, New Zealand, Singapore and Hong Kong dollars to those of Tuvalu, Belize and Kiribati. Many were introduced in the aftermath of decolonization, replacing local or British pounds, shillings and pence.

What does $ mean? Why, it means “peso”
Down Latin America way, so
When know-it-alls holler
“That symbol means ‘dollar’!”
Say, “Not so, señor, ’cos I say so.”

With defeat for his team on the cards,
Kev was willing to do the hard yards,
Puttin’ on one last spurt.
Bloody hell, mate, it hurt!
Now Australia sends her regards.

Kev here represents the handful of batsmen over the years who have brought Australia’s cricket team to victory on the final ball of a match.

I enjoy macho stand-ins, but when
I saw Ringers, I soon thought again.
The heroine’s double
Had twice as much stubble
As both of the film’s leading men.

The fictional blockbuster mentioned here bears no relation to the 1982 short of the same name, or any movies made after 2010.

The dough-faced apprentice’s head
Resembled the stuff that makes bread.
“You’re the helper I need,”
Said the baker. “Agreed?”
“I can rise to the job,” the lad said.

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