Definitely Limericks: Eo-Es

Feel free to quiz sleepy ol’ me on
Eoan: no typo for aeon,
This word about dawn
Sounds a lot like a yawn.
(Dammit, missed—now the loo seat has pee on.)

This obscure word is pronounced ee-OH-un.

Many forebears of mammals today
First became in the family way
In the Eocene epoch.
They flourished, you see, doc,
When warmth kept the ice-caps at bay.

The Eocene epoch, from around 56 to 34 million years ago, was when levels of atmospheric CO2 were last higher than 500 parts per million, levels we are heading for again this century. During the Eocene there were no polar ice-caps, sea levels were 100 metres higher than today’s, and smaller mammals like the early horses and primates thrived.

The supposed first tools made of stone
Were some roughly chipped flints. These alone
Named an age Eolithic.
We now think it’s mythic.
They’re natural rocks, it’s been shown.

British flint nodules once thought to be early stone tools (called eoliths) were later shown to be most likely produced by natural erosion.

As the dawn breaks, and daylight draws near,
Watch the bloke with the fangs disappear.
The rise of the sun
For a vampire ain’t fun.
Eosophobia: Dracula’s fear.

An épicerie’s really a deli,
But French-er; the cheeses are smelly,
The confit is ducky,
And those who are lucky
Can buy escargots canned in jelly.

The epigram suffers, in verse
Or a sentence, the satirist’s curse:
You can sometimes be thought
One whose substance falls short
If your points are not prolix, but terse.

Epistemology: How do we know
What we know? What’s philosophy show?
For many at college,
Such theories of knowledge
Are ones they would rather forgo.

They duck this hard work at their cost;
Without critical thinking, we’re lost.
We may think that we know it all,
Have “proofs” we say show it all,
But our reasoning could be criss-crossed.

Two and two, when they’re added, give four.
Try them multiplied: “Blimey!” you roar,
The answers are equal!”
But wait, mark the sequel:
Only zero works also. No more.

When it comes to mistake-making, there’re
All manner of causes for error:
Impossible missions;
Misguided ambitions;
Incompetence; slothfulness; terror.

“Your book on Welsh land use has lots
Of mistakes. Look, ‘er W’—what’s...”
“Erm, an erw is not
An, um, error. It’s what
The, er, Welshry called acres or plots.”

Just as Welshry is an old term for the Welsh people, an erw (EH-roo) is an old Welsh land measurement (and later, more generally, a term for an allocated portion of land). The area of an erw varied at different times and in different places.

Eschatology? Heaven forfend.
Although, seeing you study the End,
Do you reckon we’ll fry,
Or rise up to the sky?
Either way, there’s a worrying trend.

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