And the Winner Is...

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Two of you, anyway. Who out of the dozens, nay, couple of entrants to the Speedysnail Seventh Birthday Extravaganza will win the dozens, nay, two prizes on offer? Who will be taking home the striking hachimaki and the envy-inducing pencil set? Most importantly, who will get which?

On the one hand, we have Bill, longtime reader and correspondent and, as of last Christmas, actual human being I’ve actually met, offering some exquisite sycophancy with callbacks to Snailian glories old and new. Bill, who has expressed his keen desire for the headband, but also his admiration for those beautiful pencils. Bill, the father of two small girls, a number which conveniently divides into six, both of whom are fast approaching artistic age.

On the other hand we have Naomi, newer reader but no less valued for that, writing to us from the heart of Europe, offering strange words like “kadernictvi” and a compelling story of Karate Kid obsession and ex-communist fashion disaster areas. Naomi, who has no interest in pencils but a desperate desire for strips of white cotton with red circles screenprinted on them.

A tough decision. Do I listen to Ida-Ten, the Buddhist god of law and justice whose swift speed of movement is unmatched, and give Naomi the headband and Bill the pencils? Or to my inner tanuki, the trickster animal with a masked face like a raccoon and a pot belly often imitated in tea kettles, who would give Bill the headband and Naomi the pencils?

Should I pray to Chimati no Kami, god of crossroads and footpaths, to help me decide? Or to Daikoku, god of wealth, whose lucky mallet can bestow fortune with one stroke?

Should I drop the Japanese mythology and just get it over with?

Yes. Yes I should. Bill, the pencils are yours. Naomi, your fighting spirit has won through. Thanks for playing—your fabulous prizes will be in the post.

7 August 2006 · Site News

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The lights. The glory. The symphonic orchestra announcing my status as "WINNER" in that woodwindy/stringy way...

Will my life EVER be this complete again?

P.S. Save the Japanese mythology for your kids dude, I'm SOOOO gonna try to find Czech fairytales - but worry the strains of xenophobia would put me off imparting them to the un-asyet-born offspring of my womb.

P.P.S. Apologies for mentioning my uterus on your blog. :)

Added by Naomi on 7 August 2006.

A Haiku Typed one-handed, on account of a future artist sleeping in the crook of my left arm:

Six gaily clad trunks
Cheer a browsing wombat in
The grateful forest

P.S. Woodwindy-stringy congrats to Naomi and her fighting spirit!

P.P.S. Apologies for not finding away to work the word "uterus" into the verse above.

Added by BT on 8 August 2006.

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