The Speedysnail April Fool’s Day Kit

Stuck for tricks to play on this most important day of the year? Yeah, me too. Fortunately, I remembered this sign I saw in Dundee last Friday:

Please Don’t Feed the Pigeons

Without the words attached, that has all sorts of possibilities... Five minutes with Photoshop later, here it is in printer-ready form: in colour; and black-and-white.

Just print out 38 copies and you’re ready for no end of side-splitting tomfoolery. Some serving suggestions:

  • Display prominently at your nearest Hitchcock convention;
  • Tape to the door of the loser in college who doesn’t have a girlfriend;
  • Hand out as fliers to visitors at a falconry display;
  • Cast in bronze and place on the fourth plinth at Trafalgar Square;
  • Send in unmarked plain wrapper to your local Pigeon Fanciers’ Association, scrawled with the words “PIGEOPHILE SCUM”;
  • Mount on signs and use to picket the Scottish Liberal Democrats.

Use by 12 PM, 01.04.2004.

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