The Twisted Bell

The Vigilantes On Horseback

The 'On Horseback' debate first reared its head and whinnied in 1994, driving all of us to distraction in the process. ('It's some make chaos!' 'No, it's some make cars!' 'No, it's some mend cars!') Two and a bit years later, with a new crop of Amarokians on board, nothing had changed. (The mystery has since been definitively answered by the Man himself.)


Date: Thu Mar 27 10:07:22 1997
Subject: Due Warning

David Henry naughtily piped up:

Ok. My opinion is Chaos. Ican see why Mike would pick Cash, though. We all know that Mike's lyric writing capability isn't up to much usually, but is it bad enough that he wold pick Cars? Awww come on.

As Lise has said, if you know enough about the list to venture an opinion on this matter then you also KNOW that the subject is absolutely closed and we're all sick to death of it. But that's obviously not enough for some people. So I hereby suggest that, in the newly-self-moderating spirit of this list, we take the matter into our own hands, in the best Net tradition of flaming these recalcitrants into submission. I hereby announce the formation of

The Vigilantes On Horseback (V.O.H.)

Membership is entirely voluntary. If you want to be in, you're in. All you have to do is cut-and-paste the generic message below and keep a copy in your 'Out' mailbox ready for action. If you spot a transgressor who dares to raise the subject of the lyrics to The Song That Shall Not Be Named, send them a copy of the message. If enough of us do this they'll soon learn their lesson. But two provisos: make sure you don't send the message to the list by mistake (maybe Kerick could set up a filter... if we all keep the subject line as 'You Have Been Warned' that would work); and don't send it to new members who innocently raise the subject without being aware of its history on the list (that would be a bit rough; though maybe Kerick could also include this in the Amarok FAQ that goes out to all new members when they join).

Here's the message. Simple, but effective.

A Warning From
The Vigilantes On Horseback

BE IT KNOWN that you have transgressed the unwritten laws of the AMAROK list. To wit:

  • You have knowingly and with malice aforethought raised the subject, yet again, of the lyrics to 'On Horseback' (hereafter known as 'The Song That Shall Not Be Named'), even though the members of AMAROK have made it painfully clear that they are thoroughly sick to death of the whole thing;
  • You have ventured an opinion about whether it's 'Chaos', 'Cars', or 'Cash', even though we have heard so many conflicting opinions on this matter that we're starting to suspect that Mike mumbled the word on purpose just to give his fans something to argue about ad infinitum;
  • You may have further annoyed us by speculating about whether it's 'Make' or 'Mend';
  • You have missed the whole bloody point, which is that we have gone waaaaayyy past the point where we care one way or the other, and we just want to talk about something else, if that's okay with you; or
  • You haven't missed the point, but you're bothering us with your opinion because you want to be the one who has the last word, which misses the second point that this is The Thread That Never Dies and there can be no last word (because even Mike will have forgotten what he sang by now).

THIS BEING SO, you are hereby warned by the V.O.H. that should you mention The Song That Shall Not Be Named again on the AMAROK list we shall say some very rude things indeed, primarily about you, but also about your family, your friends, your pets, your country of origin, those old Yes LPs you've got in your record collection, and anything else that comes to mind while we're feeling especially cross.


***** The V.O.H. *****

The Twisted Bell

©2001 Rory Ewins