| | A seedy looking character (Steve Field), carrying a tray with items for sale on it, trundles onstage and looks furtively around for signs of cops. Then looks at his watch. |
Mr W | | Two a.m... that should do it... MISTER WHIPPY! Mister Whippy! Get your ICE CREAMS here! GET your icecreams! (And drugs.) AND your ICE CREAMS! They're luverly! SOFT-SERVE! And heroin! SPEEDy service! Get 'em here! Thirty-one ECSTATIC flavours! NEAPOLITAN! Colombian! Raspberry Ripple! Marijuana Munch! Get your... |
| | A policeman (Rory Ewins) walks onstage. |
Copper | | Allo allo allo. And what might you be selling at this time of night, my good man? |
Mr W | | Ice cream, guv. Good stuff man. Sir. |
Copper | | Do you think I was born yesterday?! Nobody sells icecream at this time of night! |
Mr W | | No, really, I thought the punters heading home from that Rave over there might fancy a quick choc-ice. |
Copper | | Oh yes? (Looks at Mr W's tray) What are all these funny pills then? |
Mr W | | Uh... dolly mixture. Man. |
Copper | | Dolly mixture! DOLLY MIXTURE!... Right you are then. (He starts to leave.) |
Mr W | | Uh—fancy an icecream guv? |
Copper | | That's very civil of you. Don't mind if I do. |
Mr W | | What'll it be? |
Copper | | I'll have some smack. |
Mr W | | Hot fudge sauce? |
| | Cut lights. |