Grinding Noises

Not the Daily Report

A gentle parody of everyone's favourite web guru, written after he wondered what his version of a web journal would look like...

3 May, 2000

Walking to get more coffee, we noticed the carpeting. Interesting orange pinstripe-pattern with thick bold borders. Should make a good background for the next incarnation of Daily Report.

The coffee was a satisfyingly browser-safe shade of #663300, but we were worried that the milk looked a little #FFFFCC. Must switch to soy.

Put the milk back in the refrigerator. They say that when WAP rules the world all fridges will be hooked up to the Web. Then the only pages that will render properly will be Jakob Nielsen's.

Damn this computer. Why doesn't our site look right today? Note to selves: write a Web Standards Project blast to Microsoft for failing to port IE5.5 to the Commodore 64.

Ahh, sweet surfing. Good to see all our acolytes carrying the flame of centered pages, thick bold borders, and #FFFFCC backgrounds for text.

And so to bed. To sleep, perchance to dream. Oh, what a tangled Web we weave.

First published at Jeffrey Zeldman Presents, 4 May 2000.

6 March 2001
©2000-01 Rory Ewins