The Ancient Art of Tikegami
Materials: 1 x UK bus ticket; 1 x bus trip of at least 2 minutes duration; 2 x pairs of opposable digits (thumb, index finger or similar); 1 x childhood obsession with paper-folding.
1. Flatten ticket, taking care to avoid cuts from sharp edges.
2. Fold lengthwise, then lengthwise again, creasing along the spine each time.
3. Mountain-fold in half at a 30° angle. A small ruler and pocket protractor may come in handy.
4. Fold flap B under flap A, then loop the end of B through resulting hole C, flattening carefully each time. This is the most important step. Pay close attention to figure 4 above.
5. The finished knot. Using the long arm as a handle, this makes a fine cudgel for bludgeoning aphids, ladybirds and midges.
Variations: Dime bar wrappers (daimigami); used sheets of writing paper (aforgami); empty bags of pasta (aimgoingbami).
I’ll stop soon, I swear.
The craziest part is that a few days ago I saw some chocolate-bar litter that had been knotted and flattened *exactly* the same way.
Added by Rory on 24 July 2005.
You're special. Yes, a very special person.
Added by Innocent bystander on 24 July 2005.
That could've been my chocolate-bar wrapper. It wasn't, but it could've been.
Bludgeon all the midges and greenfly you want, but spare the ladybirds!
Added by Kirsten on 26 July 2005.
I do have a soft spot for ladybirds, I must admit.
Added by Rory on 26 July 2005.
Where are the illustrations for step 4? You’ve let me down!
But tell me - is this the first step towards balloon folding, or the after-effects of a private (public) school education where Windsor knots were compulsory?
Added by Dom on 28 July 2005.
Step 4? Jeez, Dom, it’s right there! Must be your browser. (I dunno, you try to help people...)
It can’t be a private school education—government school kid, me. So it must be the balloons.
Added by Rory on 29 July 2005.